Saturday, September 15, 2007

你的方式还是他的方式?

忽然有些感触。。 所以想把它写下来。。。

当一对恋人在一起的时候,往往会对对方有些要求。 希望对方能这样做,那样做。。。 希望对方能以自己所期望的方式来爱自己。。。

有些恋人能很轻易的达到对方的要求,因为他们都是以一样的方式来表现爱的方式。。

但是如果两方面所表达爱的方式是不一样的呢?比如:


甲小姐希望乙先生能多一点时间陪伴她,能够为了她去做些自己其实没那么喜欢做的事情。。 当他做不到时, 甲小姐就会觉得乙先生连这么一点小事情都不愿意为她做, 他没那么喜欢她。。。

可是, 乙先生并不是不够喜欢她, 只是他以不同的方式来爱甲小姐。。他比较实际,在一起的时间多或少并不能衡量两人之间感情的深度, 最重要是两人在一起开心。。。他所爱她的方式也不一样 --〉 在一起时所表现出关怀她的种种小动作或事物就是他所表现爱的方式。。

在这种情况下,两人之间的沟通是非常重要的。。 只有在沟通后才能了解对方想要的是什么, 并close the expectation gap。

最后,两人除了要为了对方做一些对方想要看到的爱的方式,也必须要了解对方如何表达他们自己爱的方式, 并在过程中了解, 迁就并接受对方。

以上只是我个人的一些想法。。。或许你们也有自己的一些看法。。。

你能接受他以他的方式来爱你吗?

8 Comments:

Blogger egeus said...

甲小姐, I do agree communication is really important. It is better to say it out nicely than get unhappy by yourself. If not, it is quite unfair to both as nobody can do anything about it.

Personally, I think in a r/s, both parties will influence each other. And after a while, someone will change and close this gap. On the other hand, someone who insist that the other party should just accept he/she as he/she is, isn't ready for a r/s. Cuz it takes two to build a r/s, not only me, myself and I.

Take your time to moderate each others' expectation bah. Good luck!

12:09 AM  
Blogger Sunshine said...

i totally agree with your point of view....similar to wat i've blogged...

somehow this comment sounds like those anutie agony kind of advice..haha...

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

omg... sounds like a riddle for the auditors.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Sunshine said...

haha! riddle for the fellow auditors out there rite? how to close the expectation gap...=p

3:50 PM  
Blogger dRiZzz said...

But its factually true. That's why we should love audit... the managing of expectations forms the basis of our social interactions with others.

3:56 PM  
Blogger Sunshine said...

OMG...okok...let's just stop all these...toking abt work makes my head spin...

let's just carry on the conversation on msn...haha...

3:57 PM  
Blogger egeus said...

yes work makes me sick... I feel like I am an auditor now... at least the working hours of one.. :(

10:43 PM  
Blogger Sunshine said...

huh...seems like someone is working veri hard...even harder than lazy auditor like me! oops...

11:46 PM  

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